Relationship woes...
One way that I've found that really helps me deal with a "situation" is to talk about it and analyze it until I'm blue in the face.  Being in a relationship with 22 year old has had it's interesting obsticles and I'm neck deep in to one of them right now. 

For the second time in a year and half, Mike has met another guy that he has really  hit it off with as far as interests are concerned. 

The Details
Naturally each of these guys are gay and as I'm sure many will agree, it's not easy for two men in a relationship to deal with their partner making a new gay male friend; that's attractive.  It certainly doesn't help that my ex cheated on me with the guy that he really hit it off with and left me for.  Needless to say, I'm sensitive in this area.  So Mike and Tony really hit it off, blowing up eachothers cellphones thoughout the day, spending time together, calling like to High School girls in heat.  Two weeks ago I joined my family for the annual trip to the Gulf and while I was out of town, 6 days actually, Mike and Tony spent 3 of them together and alone.  One day was dinner and a  movie, another was dinner & then Mike's softball game.  Finally, Mike invited Tony over to our home and had dinner with just the two of them.  Tony has a boyfriend also so I have nothing to be concerned with.  Right!?!?

Complications
What really complicates this situation is that Tony and I have a past.  Tony was someone that I talked to many moons ago.  By talk I mean that I met Tony around the same time that I met Jr.  I was talking to and getting to know him and realized that there was an attraction to Tony.  I also realized that Tony was once in a serious relationship with a good friend of mine and altough I wasn't around when that relationship transpired, I wasn't about to hurt or endanger my friend over this Tony guy.  So naturally I chose to pursue things with Jr and sent Tony on his way.  A little less than a year later, while still with Jr, Tony sent me a text message stating that should I ever decide to step outside of my relationship with Jr to give him a call.  Well, while going through the tramatic break up with Jr I discovered that Jr cheated on me with Tony.  Until last week I chose not to confront Tony with that information.

The Straw that snaped the Camels neck off
So here I am with quite a bit of anxiety and distaste over the situation.  While sitting on the couch I notice Mike's cell phone sitting alone on the table.  I decide that it's certainly my business to know exactly what he and Tony find so entertaining that they feel the need to message eachother constantly.  Guess what I find.... 

I see messages from Tony such as: Your eyes are beautiful.  My arms are huge, you should see them.  I've been at the gym...  You want to see my ass. I really missed you today where have you been (45 minutes after not getting a reply)

Naturally, these messages could be considered both friendly OR flirtatious.  Given my history with Tony and his reputation, I know better and a night of arguing with Mike ensues. 

Hello Xanga!!  The other day I had quite a bit of free time and so I went through my blog (of which I was really excited to see is still here).  Wow.  I wish I would write in this thing more because I honestly am a very forward moving kind of person that rarely reflects back on many of the things that I have once written about.  So why not have an update?

Life
is good of course but it has certainly had it's ups and downs.  Exactly one and a half years ago last Friday I met a guy and we've been partnered every since.  Prior to meeting him, I was single for about a year and prior to that I was with JR for roughly a year and 1/2.  Aside from the year of being single, of which I was definitely trying to forget the pain left behind from JR, I've been pretty settled down I guess you could say.  This past year Mike and I took a cruise and went to Orlando to see Rob and David both of which were great.  We've done quite a bit of growing together you could say. 

Bringing sexy back??

I was just checking out some OLD Xanga entries and realize that I miss writing posts so I'm going to try to be more diligent about blogging.  TRY anyway. 

More to come....

Guess what.... It's been a while and I have some time so I figured I'd bring my blog up to date (UTD as we would put it back at Sears Credit).

Whats been happening?  Well, January 2006 started off with a bang.  Following the break up I went ahead and took that trip that we scheduled together to Orlando and realized that the only way I would survive the months to come is friends, family, and shaking things up a bit. 

SHAKEN, not stirred.... So that's exactly what I've done.  So far this year I've managed to meet more people than I've met in the past 5 years.  I've traveled to Orlando twice, Las Vegas, Chicago twice, Miami (Lauderdale and South Beach), Nashville, Cincinnati, all for the purpose of partying and letting go.  Man, and to think I thought I was in debt at the beginning of the year.

With all that said, I've experienced so much and learned a lot about myself and people in general.  My climate went from immensely hurt to betrayed to lost to healing to found.  I've dated and met so many seemingly wonderful individuals over the past few months and as hard as I try I can't seem to let any of them in.  I gotta admit that the human healing process is amazing though.  I'm a very level headed straight forward kinda guy and wouldn't have guessed in a million years that I'd fall apart the way I did.  It didn't make sense for me to be hurt in the way that I was considering the source of my pain.  When you've found that the person you're hurting over is not who you thought they were, it should be quick and painless to move on.  It's NOT and let it be a lesson that sometimes logic does not prevail. 

Right now when I reflect back on the past two years and some of those memories that once hurt I no longer feel pain.  I simply think to myself that it was a different place and time in my life.

So more about my travels...  I just got back from Chicago and had an awesome time. Again, that city is nothing but amazing.  Now if I can just get off my butt and find a job there, I'd be set.  I see myself relocating there for a few years just to get a taste.  I'd really like to become a traveler and would enjoy moving to South Florida after Chicago to contrast the Chicago climate.  After Florida, who knows.  I've never experienced the west coast and it does appeal to me on a certain level.  Ultimately, now is the time to do these things.  Even though what ties me to Louisville is an absolutely awesome group of friends and my family, I know my friends will always be there and this may be the best chance to find out what life is like outside of the Ville. 

Speaking of Miami, that was a lot of fun too.  I met this incredible guy a few months ago and we've had the best time hanging out and running around together.  He even invited me to visit him in Miami and paid my way.  I'm normally not one to take handouts but he insisted and I really think it was mutually beneficial.  He leaves for Iraq in a little over a week and will be there till March.  It makes me sad to see him go. 

Well, it's late and I'm ready for bed.  I'll write more later this weekend/week.  I'm in route to the Gulf to spend the week with family so I'll have some extra time to catch up with the journal.

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